Interviewing the Underdog

D’Aatagnan Crain

Occupation: Director of Consumers in the Coffee Industry

Phoenix: Mr. Crain, thank you so much for meeting with me today.

D’Artagnan: Please call me D’Artagnan, and it’s my pleasure.

Phoenix: Thank you D’Artagnan, well let’s get started.

Mr. Crain crosses his right leg over his left and then grips his ankle with his left hand.

Phoenix: Do you have any love interests at the moment?

Mr. Crain looks up at the ceiling, takes in a deep breath and then smiles. He drops his head and then he looks at me head on. His look was so crucial that I had to turn away from him. I looked down and shifted through my papers.

D’Artagnan: I’m trying to keep busy. I have my hands in so many different projects right now.

Phoenix: Thank you for that but D’Artagnan you didn’t answer my question.

Mr. Crain glared at me with his iced blue eyes. I was hypnotized by him for a moment and then my phone buzzed in my pocket and I was released. I patted my sweaty forehead and then I cleared my voice.

Phoenix: How is your relationship with your family?

D’Artagnan: My family and I are extremely close. We’ve always been a close nit family.

Phoenix: Where did you grow up?

D’Artagnan: New York and Chicago mostly.

Phoenix: So which city did you like most?

D’Artagnan: Seattle

Phoenix: But you just said-

Mr. Crain glared at me and then I felt a chill down my back. I shifted through my papers again.

Phoenix: Could you tell me about the first day you met Cricket?

D’Artagnan: I could but I won’t, next question.

Phoenix: uhmm, how about the first time you met Jyme Samson, can you tell me about that?

D’Artagnan: He’s a dick, what else would you like to know about him?

Phoenix: Uhmmm, a lot of people would disagree with you on that.

D’Artagnan: He’s an ass hole.

Phoenix: Okay, a lot of people are rooted for Jyme and Cricket, how do you feel about that?

D’Artagnan: How do I feel? You want to know how I feel? I’ll tell you how I really feel. I FEEL like Cricket can do better, I FEEL like the best guy never wins, I FEEL like there’s got to be more to life than this.

Phoenix: D’Artagnan what are you referring to?

Mr. Crain grunts and rubs his hands up and down his thighs and he rocks in his chair. I nervously shift through my papers again.

Phoenix- Uhmm D’Artagnan what are your ambitions/goals?

The room falls silent as Mr. Crain stares into space. Phoenix: D’Artagnan?

Phoenix: Mr. Crain?

D’Artagnan: Her.

Phoenix: Excuse me?

D’Artagnan: She’s my ambitions, she’s my goals, and she’s my everything.

Mr. Crain was speaking as though he was in a trance. He was just starring off into space.

Phoenix: D’Artagnan, are you referring to Cricket?

D’Artagnan: He’ll never love her like I do.

Phoenix: D’Artagnan?